Struggles Young Men are Facing

I've recently stumbled across two different but related talks that were thought-provoking:

Recently the US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy declared that loneliness is an "epidemic" and "public health crisis." Although loneliness is a problem for society in general, I've heard that the issue is particularly acute for younger generations and males. Along these lines is a panel hosted by the Springtide Research Institute.

To discuss this topic of loneliness in Gen Z men generally they use Episode one of the show Queer Eye season 7 as a launching point. I realize that Queer Eye might not be everyone's cup of tea as a show, but I watched this episode and it is indeed powerful. In this episode the Queer Eye team is helping a group of young men at a college fraternity, and the key scene is where the show's therapist Karamo leads the young men in a time of vulnerable sharing on a beach. As the fraternity members begin sharing some of the struggles they've been going through it becomes clear both that they have never shared about their feelings and struggles before, and that it is profoundly therapeutic and healing for them as they do so.

The Springtide panel members discuss their own experiences of loneliness, the loneliness they've observed as they research and work with Gen Z, and thoughts about how we can move in a more relationally connected direction as a society. Specifically they highlight the need to create spaces where young men are given the safety and permission to connect and be honest with each other.

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The second talk I listened to was an episode on "The Gray Area with Sean Illing" podcast called "The new crisis of masculinity". As someone raised in an age in which gender differences are minimized and the focus is on injustices faced by females, it was unusual and interesting to hear a talk focussed on struggles being experienced specifically by males. They set the scene by discussing certain indicators of struggle among males: the biggest drop in employment is among young men, men receive 74 bachelors degrees for every 100 awarded to women, and men account for 75% of "deaths of despair" (suicide, alcohol abuse, overdose).

And then most of their conversation shifts to the modern sense that many young men have that it has become vague what "being a man" is. The term "toxic masculinity" has become well known—but is there even such a thing as positive masculinity? Is there a "masculinity" that should be sought after at all or is the goal to just live a good life in general regardless of one's gender?

Central to that conversation is the role of role models. They talk about people like Andrew Tate—widely regarded as a toxic person and bad influence—and how he has "filled the void" in a sense. For boys and young men trying to figure out what it means to be a man, he has unfortunately become someone that they have turned to for guidance and an example. Naturally they talk about the need for better role models.

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Both the Springtide panel and the Gray Area podcast struck a cord in me. To some degree that might be because I can personally identify with some of the themes, but more because I want to be someone who helps the young men around me. As I listened to both talks there was something inside me that spontaneously bubbled up saying "I want to help!" I'm not sure exactly what that looks like but these are themes I'll be reflecting on more as time goes on.